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Cuddle times, how, when, where, and why
By
Mary Francen
Ok
this may seem like a simple topic of discussion right?
Your little one has fallen and gotten hurt, you give them a hug and a
kiss to make the owie all better. Or they are sleepy and want your lap to cuddle
in while they drift off as you rock them and sing them a song or tell them a
story. “Or both big grin and giggles”.
There
is more to it than the basics that come to mind off the top of “norm list”
however whenever dealing with “inner children” some are major cuddle bugs :)
some are not.
The
issues surrounding the cuddling may vary depending upon things that have
happened to the “Big’s” life or the “little one” and must be taken
into account.
Cuddling
is an important showing of love. It is the one way of showing a “little one”
that the “grownup” in there life is safe and that yes you can be “loved”
without being hurt.
Sometimes
it takes a bit of time before a “little one” will be able to be cuddled.
Again this goes back to what ever may have happened in the past, or the age of
said “little one”.
It
is extremely important that a “little one” knows that they are safe with you
at all times, and loved even if they are in “troubles”.
This
can be accomplished by giving a period of lap time before taking part with said
punishment and showing them physically “that yes little one I still love you,
but we need to discuss what happened”.
And
then proceeding with your scheduled plans, this will help your little one to
better accept there punishment.
After
said punishment that you have done it is also important to make sure that your
little one knows that you forgive them and “it is all ok” again and time for
more hugs and lap time.
It
would seem pretty easy with the How? But lets see here cuddles can be in many
forms they can be done with rocking and humming, singing songs, telling stories,
snuggled up together on the couch watching cartoons on the TV, listening to
music and playing with coloring books and crayons while snuggled on the bed
before ninis.
They
can also be a walk on the boardwalk, snuggled together lying on the bed each
morning just as your little one wakes up and starts to jump on your bed to
“wake you up”, sitting on the beach playing in the sand making a castle
together letting of course your little one bury you :). Cuddles take many
different forms for different people.
Cuddle
time is an extremely important facet to a relationship as it is the one thing
that “shows” love. Especially to a “child”, you can say I love you a
million and one times to a “child” but it still needs to be “shown”.
To
a “child” there world will spilt in two very easily, and cuddles are a way
of “gluing” it back together again. Cuddles chase the monsters away, and
make all the owies in the world better.
You
know I had thought this assignment was finished with that above paragraph, until
a little bit ago, than something came to mind that I think is important that
needs to be passed onto the readers of Daddy Stephens site.
Sometimes
a “little one” will see things a bit oddly than those around them,
“although to them it doesn’t seem odd at all” and this will cause things
to happen in the course of the day that the “grownups” will not see coming.
And
sometimes this will also look like something that it might not be. A “little
one” will feel things and react to them, much more differently than there
counter part “big person” would.
They
will see something and not understand it, and see it as black and white. And not
see the grays or even perhaps because of things that have happened in the past,
will just simply freak.
How
do I know this because just today this happened to me. My “Big” read
something, and my “little and big” both didn’t understand it, while my
“big” attempted to talk to talk to Uncle, my “little” just outright
freaked and became hysterical.
By
her becoming hysterical, and running “something little’s might tend to do”
when she wasn’t able to get to Uncle at that very second, “he was working at
the time” this caused me to “feel again”.
Anyway,
when Uncle did come back to find me aka her he was stunned and had not one idea
what had happened nor why I was so upset. “what the holy snakes are you
talking about Young lady? Was almost a direct quote from uncle.”
After
a lot of babbling on her part finally he was able to get the story out of her
and he was not happy, not because she was upset but because she did not talk to
him first.
However
what he did do was sit her in his lap and while discussing the situation cuddle
her, as he helped to glue her world back together again and make her feel loved
and safe before ever even mentioning the phrase both she and I dislike hearing
so much ‘your uncle is not happy”.
So you see cuddles are something that comes in many forms, and are needed at many different times and places and ways, not just when there is a bad dream in the middle of the night, or a new ride at the theme park. “Yes holding hands while being on a ride at the theme park is cuddling”. :)
