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How
Do I tell my partner?
By Mary Francen
I
have been with Daddy since I was seventeen years old. However we were not always
in this lifestyle. As a matter of fact I did not get up the nerve to tell him
about my needs and wants until only about six years ago now.
Daddy
is older than I am by almost twelve years. I am currently 32 and he is currently
43. He has always been very “old fashioned” while dating me, sweet and
loving and romantic.
He
always called me “His little princess” from the first date that we went on.
And he always has been protective and nurturing with me even though we never
spoke of any age-play or role-playing relationship of any kind.
As
a matter of fact, I was extremely nieve and had no idea what age-play or
role-play even was until about six years ago when I discovered it on the
internet.
I
did however on our first date tell Daddy exactly what I wanted back than from my
“boyfriend/husband” I wanted an “old fashioned husband” I knew back than
at the time anyway that I was not going to be able to work and that I was going
to be a stay at home wife. I knew that I wanted a man to be the “head of the
house in a leave it beaver type of way”.
I
was also brazen enough at that age to tell him that if he didn’t like me that
it was ok, and that he didn’t have to call me again after the date. Needless
to say Daddy did call me again. And the rest is as they say history. :)
I
did grow up a lot during the time that Daddy and I were together, I went to
school for the blind and visually impaired and did learn that I could “work”
and did in fact obtain a wonderful career in journalism, however that did not
deter the feelings inside of me that I still wanted that “old fashioned
husband”.
I
just didn’t know that even though I was very much playing the grownup and
living in that world all day long running a paper and doing a good job of it.
I
wanted and needed a man at home to take care of me. But not in the way of what I
thought, in that he ran the house and I just did what he said without questions.
That went against everything that I knew to be allowed and it didn’t seem to
fit with what I was craving inside but I still didn’t yet understand what it
was that I fully needed.
All
of these thoughts were running around inside of my head for about the last ten
plus years of my life.
I
can remember one year for Christmas we decided to “relive our childhood” and
got up at three am to open gifts and we even went so far as to give each other
“toys”.
This
was done as a joke back than, but in my mind and heart that Christmas morning I
remember waking up and being so excited for the first time in so many years!
I
remember getting a Barbie and two police officer teddy bears “Daddy was
working as a security guard that year so they matched his job” that year and a
Barbie post office set. And that was at least twelve years ago! Yes I still have
one of those teddy bears he is a bit beat up from being slept with all those
years but I still have him.
It
was than that Christmas that I think I started to think gee I wish that I could
have this more often. To be free again, to be safe and
happy and loved so unconditionally as a child is.
But
I still didn’t put two and two together for many years to come. While I have
always been a very playful person, one will dunk anyone in the pool and wrestle
around on the floor etc. I think that may have helped me to come to the
realization later on that hey DUH Mary!!!! :)
When
I did get internet access and of course did more than just email the few friends
of mine who had internet email
address and I typed in the word spank and spanking “yes those
REALY were the first two words I typed into the search engine thing.” Because
that has always been an interest of mine. I started to come up with websites
that had stories and pictures on them and even some that had movies. :)
This
was the first thing that I told Daddy about my spanking wants and needs. I told
him this in a funny way, one day he came home and I draped myself over his lap
and handed him a hairbrush.
It
was a plastic one “thank goodness” he didn’t know what to do with it or
what I was doing because neither one of us knew what we were doing. LOL but we
learned as we went along.
I
sat down after that “spanking over Daddies lap which I wouldn’t really call
a spanking now because we both giggled through it” and I wrote a lot of
letters to Daddy, about things that I was thinking.
I
have always been better at communication via paper and pen than talking so for
me doing it on paper was a lot easier as could express what I was trying to get
across a lot more clearly.
We
came up with some rules and consequences for breaking them and it was all done
with me righting it down on paper and him reading it and saying yes or no. He
started to give me a bedtime spanking each night and that started me getting
tucked in to bed for the first time in my life that I could remember.
It
was about two years after that started and a move that I finally got up the
nerve to tell him about “Daddy” even though I had been thinking about
“Daddy” in my head for a LONG time by this point, I had
figured it out some time around the point of a couple of months after I
started to get tucked in each night.
I
also saw a HUGE difference in me when that didn’t happen. “getting tucked in
not the spanking” Over time the bedtime spankings stopped as did the other
spankings as my tastes changed and I learned what more I really wanted was not
the “head of household relationship” but more the Daddy little girl
relationship”.
Even
though I did tell Daddy that I wanted a Daddy I was not able to call him Daddy
verbally, for about a year or so, even after admitting it to him. It took him
saying to me, you never call me Daddy for me to see that.
In
my mind I was embarrassed and worried about it and scared as well. Even though I
had just gotten what I wanted I was also scared because I wasn’t sure what to
do with it now that I had it.
I
did start to call Daddy, Daddy and when I was at work, “Daddy and I both
worked in the same place at the time, I was “Ms Office Manager professional”
and yet the minute I got home I was very much happy to be Daddy’s little girl.
It was not at that point a 24/7 relationship, it was more of a once in a while
thing.
Than
I had to stop working because I got sick, while I was home recuperating from
said stupid yuki thingy. Daddy saw that I was just well not myself. Than again
who would be after losing the ability to do the career they loved so much.
Daddy
started to “Daddy Me all the time” it became a 24/7 relationship and I
became very happy to be his “little girl” all the time. I was very happy to
be Daddies girl all the time.
This
is what I meant by he has always been the nurturing and protective type with me,
not in a I am going to beat you up for looking at my girlfriend kind of way, but
in the sweet aww your not feeling good baby kind of way here let me get you
something to drink while you cuddle up on the couch way. :).
This
change took place without so much words being said as actions taking place on
both of our parts mostly his. I followed his lead and was very happy that I did.
:)
Having
been together for such a long time we can “read” each other very well now
and know when the other is feeling certain ways or even thinking certain things.
There
are times when Daddy needs a break or when there are some of my needs that Daddy
just isn’t able to meet and that is where Uncle comes in.
He
steps in when Daddy is unable to take care of me because he is working or for
what ever the reason may be. This was also something that Daddy and I talked
about at length.
The
biggest key to telling your partner any thing about this type of relationship is
that you have to always keep talking. Just because you tell them one time in the
beginning lets say. Does not mean that ok its done they know everything they
need to know.
Take
me for instance. I age-play/role-play at a couple of different ages. From three
to five. And I also do use diapers. This is something that Daddy is not yet
comfortable with, and he may never be comfortable with.
However
he knows my need for this type of play and understands it. This is where Uncle
comes in, I play that way with Uncle and even when I am playing that way with
Uncle Daddy knows about it enough that I will tell him, for instance if I am
being punished lets say I will say to Daddy “ I am being punished and made to
dress like a little girl” this is my way of saying to Daddy that Uncle has me
in a Diaper.
Of
course this lets Daddy know ok, do I want to get involved in this or not, and
yes there have been times when Daddy has gotten involved much to this little
girls surprise and shock at the time “Giggles I thought whew im safe from a
spanking but gulps no I wasn’t”. :0
Anyway
as I was saying, there are always going to be times when we still need to openly
and honestly discuss our needs and wants, with each other as time goes on, just
as we have in the past.
You
can do that by sitting down with each and doing a face to face, or you can start
it by doing the paper and pen thing like I did. :)
The most important thing to remember is that while doing so, that you each listen to the other, with no fighting and bickering. As each of you is VERY much so entitled to you feelings and wants and needs. And no one is wrong for there needs and wants. Just because your may be slightly different or maybe even totally different than your partners doesn’t make him or her any better or worse than you. :)
