Ageplay Discussion Site

Letting the inner child come out and play

By Mary Francen

This is something that can be both fun and can get you intro troubles as well, depending on your “inner child’s” personality and the things that they have been through or have not learned yet in there lifetime of experiences.

For me this was one of the hardest things to do, was to allow myself to “accept that yes I do in fact have an inner child and to allow that “child” to come out and play. “Giggles this was probably why I was given this assignment giggles”.

Having an “inner Child” is for me anyway different than “role-playing” and as such it brings about a lot of other dimensions to my life.

The biggest of course is that when you are “role-playing” you are in complete control of yourself and your actions. Even if you are “role-playing as a child” you are still in control. For me when my “inner child” is out and playing; “I” am not in “control” of what is going on at all.

One of the other “biggies” is that I have found that my “inner child” does not have the same knowledge nor understanding of the world as I do, however she does know how to do some of the things that I do.

”Like use the phone and computer much to my chagrin at times” Just not the “meanings of things, or more accurately the comprehension level is just not there”.

So these are things that have to be taken into account when I am with someone “allowing her to play”.

I have many things around my home that are both child friendly and also that could be harmful so these things need to taken into account as well, because I have found out through experience. “Yes I know what Christmas Tree tastes like, by the way NOT very yummy”!

Ok so now that I have finally admitted and accepted that yes I do in fact have an “inner child” what do I do with him or her? That was my first big question to Uncle because you see for me always being in control of things going on around me and within my life was the norm.

And as anyone knows when your dealing with “children” there is rarely a time that you are totally in “control” of everything, its more like a game of tug of war, in which sometimes your on the long end of the rope and sometimes your on the short end of it almost into the huge puddle of muddy water!

Add to the fact that “I” have little or no experience in dealing with “children” of any kind well that just made the whole affair even worse in my book, as well as a heck of a lot more frightening to “big me”.

Keeping in mind that it is important that your “inner child” be in a safe place to come out and play at all times and be around safe people when they do come out to play is also a VERY important thing to keep in mind.

“Having had the experience of my “inner child” come out to play in a crowded casino while out with friends “who do know of her” while she just wanted to see the magical snow that was falling inside the building and all the pretty Christmas lights and decorations and of course presents under the eighty-three foot tall tree was to say the least a VERY interesting experience”!

My “inner child” tends to be the one who holds no locked up emotions, while I don’t think she knows what they are, or more accurately she doesn’t REALLY know what they mean, she does express emotions, where as “big me” is the one who has been jaded to them and tends to “hide” from them.

She is the one who is very much a “cuddle bug” and loves to hear stories and sit in your lap, this can pose a problem if I am with people who are not aware of “her” and she pops out for some playtime.

When I became fully aware of “her” and admitted that ok yes she is there and I have to make some allowances in my life for her, I did not have any idea about how to deal with her or the lack of control. This upset “Miss Control” the most.

And there are times when she will get herself or more accurately ME into troubles and I will still get upset over the lack of control and want to hide the fact that she is there. Or more so to fight for total control so that I don’t get into any more troubles.

This doesn’t work for too long, and she will find a way of coming out to play, “whether it be after I have gone to bed for the night and she gets up to go and climb into Uncles lap over the computer in the middle of the night or by just spending the entire next day popping out and clinging to Uncle or doing both of the above”.

And why is this you may ask, well as near as I have been able to figure that particular incident out it would be because I denied her access to him at bedtime for story and song time.

Yes my “inner child” is extremely centered around her world as I believe most are at least I think they are, but than again I am certainly not an authority on that. But I do know this much, when it comes to “her” uncle she is impatient, cuddly, clingy, and only wants him and only knows him to be the one person who has been the center of her little world.

That too can be a problem in it self mind you, and something that you may have to be on the look out for in dealing with an “inner child”. Me it took until today for me to actually se all of that to sit down and figure that out. And I am one who tends to do a lot of analyzing of things.

I have found that if I stop her coming out to play when I am home and in a safe situation than she will find a way of doing so, so for the most part, when I am at home she is allowed to come out and play at free will.

There are times when Uncle has to tell her that it’s time to be “big girl” and that is usually when he ends up telling her a story and singing her to sleep. “Yes I do a lot of falling asleep giggles and then he wakes up “big Mary”.

This seems to work well enough most of the time anyways there is the occasional time when she will pop out while I am out with friends but at least the friends know of her so in that regard I am with “safe” people.

The important thing for me to keep in mind is to try to remember to not try and block her this is sometimes hard for me to remember to do, and does at times get “Big Mary” into troubles for doing just that but I am getting a lot better with it, or at least I think I am. “Giggles an smiles”