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Letting the inner child come out and play
By Mary Francen
This
is something that can be both fun and can get you intro troubles as well,
depending on your “inner child’s” personality and the things that they
have been through or have not learned yet in there lifetime of experiences.
For
me this was one of the hardest things to do, was to allow myself to “accept
that yes I do in fact have an inner child and to allow that “child” to come
out and play. “Giggles this was probably why I was given this assignment
giggles”.
Having
an “inner Child” is for me anyway different than “role-playing” and as
such it brings about a lot of other dimensions to my life.
The
biggest of course is that when you are “role-playing” you are in complete
control of yourself and your actions. Even if you are “role-playing as a
child” you are still in control. For me when my “inner child” is out and
playing; “I” am not in “control” of what is going on at all.
One
of the other “biggies” is that I have found that my “inner child” does
not have the same knowledge nor understanding of the world as I do, however she
does know how to do some of the things that I do.
”Like
use the phone and computer much to my chagrin at times” Just not the
“meanings of things, or more accurately the comprehension level is just not
there”.
So
these are things that have to be taken into account when I am with someone
“allowing her to play”.
I
have many things around my home that are both child friendly and also that could
be harmful so these things need to taken into account as well, because I have
found out through experience. “Yes I know what Christmas Tree tastes like, by
the way NOT very yummy”!
Ok
so now that I have finally admitted and accepted that yes I do in fact have an
“inner child” what do I do with him or her? That was my first big question
to Uncle because you see for me always being in control of things going on
around me and within my life was the norm.
And
as anyone knows when your dealing with “children” there is rarely a time
that you are totally in “control” of everything, its more like a game of tug
of war, in which sometimes your on the long end of the rope and sometimes your
on the short end of it almost into the huge puddle of muddy water!
Add
to the fact that “I” have little or no experience in dealing with
“children” of any kind well that just made the whole affair even worse in my
book, as well as a heck of a lot more frightening to “big me”.
Keeping
in mind that it is important that your “inner child” be in a safe place to
come out and play at all times and be around safe people when they do come out
to play is also a VERY important thing to keep in mind.
“Having
had the experience of my “inner child” come out to play in a crowded casino
while out with friends “who do know of her” while she just wanted to see the
magical snow that was falling inside the building and all the pretty Christmas
lights and decorations and of course presents under the eighty-three foot tall
tree was to say the least a VERY interesting experience”!
My
“inner child” tends to be the one who holds no locked up emotions, while I
don’t think she knows what they are, or more accurately she doesn’t REALLY
know what they mean, she does express emotions, where as “big me” is the one
who has been jaded to them and tends to “hide” from them.
She
is the one who is very much a “cuddle bug” and loves to hear stories and sit
in your lap, this can pose a problem if I am with people who are not aware of
“her” and she pops out for some playtime.
When
I became fully aware of “her” and admitted that ok yes she is there and I
have to make some allowances in my life for her, I did not have any idea about
how to deal with her or the lack of control. This upset “Miss Control” the
most.
And
there are times when she will get herself or more accurately ME into troubles
and I will still get upset over the lack of control and want to hide the fact
that she is there. Or more so to fight for total control so that I don’t get
into any more troubles.
This
doesn’t work for too long, and she will find a way of coming out to play,
“whether it be after I have gone to bed for the night and she gets up to go
and climb into Uncles lap over the computer in the middle of the night or by
just spending the entire next day popping out and clinging to Uncle or doing
both of the above”.
And
why is this you may ask, well as near as I have been able to figure that
particular incident out it would be because I denied her access to him at
bedtime for story and song time.
Yes
my “inner child” is extremely centered around her world as I believe most
are at least I think they are, but than again I am certainly not an authority on
that. But I do know this much, when it comes to “her” uncle she is
impatient, cuddly, clingy, and only wants him and only knows him to be the one
person who has been the center of her little world.
That
too can be a problem in it self mind you, and something that you may have to be
on the look out for in dealing with an “inner child”. Me it took until today
for me to actually se all of that to sit down and figure that out. And I am one
who tends to do a lot of analyzing of things.
I
have found that if I stop her coming out to play when I am home and in a safe
situation than she will find a way of doing so, so for the most part, when I am
at home she is allowed to come out and play at free will.
There
are times when Uncle has to tell her that it’s time to be “big girl” and
that is usually when he ends up telling her a story and singing her to sleep.
“Yes I do a lot of falling asleep giggles and then he wakes up “big Mary”.
This
seems to work well enough most of the time anyways there is the occasional time
when she will pop out while I am out with friends but at least the friends know
of her so in that regard I am with “safe” people.
The important thing for me to keep in mind is to try to remember to not try and block her this is sometimes hard for me to remember to do, and does at times get “Big Mary” into troubles for doing just that but I am getting a lot better with it, or at least I think I am. “Giggles an smiles”